A Prime Number

Posted on February 28, 2015


I heard that the reason for the northern hemisphere tradition of having June weddings is that by that time of year the weather had warmed up enough for both bride and groom to bathe before the big event.  I don’t know if that is true, but I am not motivated enough to fact check it.

My wife and I got married in February.  For the record, we had both bathed beforehand (well, technically, I showered, but you get the point).  If I had been planning ahead, I would have preferred an anniversary at a warmer time of year, but that point was not on our radar at the time.  Back in those days, we were both skiers so there was the alternative of going someplace cold (as we did on our honeymoon).  Since her ankle surgery several years ago, my wife gave up skiing.  Consequently, it is better to look for someplace warm for celebrating anniversaries.

Sometimes things go better than one could reasonably expect.  Last year for our 30th anniversary, we spent a couple of nights in Laguna Beach.  In February, we got to enjoy 80 degree weather on the beach.  If you don’t live in California, let me tell you that that is unusual.

So this year was our 31st.  That’s a prime number so we could not let it pass without going someplace to celebrate together.  We invited ourselves to borrow Carol’s sister’s beach house near the California and Oregon border.  We had been there in summer and it was plenty cool then.  So we visited in February and it was glorious.  Spectacular clear weather, gorgeous sunrises and sunsets, a little sliver of a new moon setting right behind the sun and Venus visible right next to it, warm enough to walk on the beach without a sweatshirt (and I am always cold[1]), a wonderful anniversary dinner in Brookings.  Even the 14 hour drive home wasn’t bad[2].

Best of all is having a wonderful wife and partner.  It is a wonderful thing to have a companion with whom you share that much history, to know and be known, to love and be loved.  Thirty one years does feel like a prime number.

The rewards of a lifetime together are worth fighting for.  I know that your partner is strange in ways that you never could have imagined before you got married.  Here is the thing: everybody is.  You are strange in ways your partner never could have imagined.  If you change partners, you trade one set of weird for another and still bring your own weird into the next relationship.  If the grass is looking greener elsewhere, it is worth trying to water and fertilize your own grass (maybe even weeding and adding nitrogen to it) rather than moving to a new lawn.   The rewards are worth it.


[1] My chief complaint with San Diego has always been that the winters are too long and cold.

[2] Except for some traffic on I-210.  Why is it that you can pass through LA and the Inland Empire on a Saturday night and still hit traffic?

Posted in: Intimacy, Love, Marriage