“The church is not built on the people that come and go. It’s built on the people who stay. And we all know the secret: We all could have left a thousand times because we’ve all let each other down. Because we’re all imperfect beings and that’s the beauty of community.” Erwin McManus
This past Sunday, I heard a sermon[1] on community in the church. The preacher closed with the above quote. I thought that is not only a great statement about the church, but a profound statement about marriage as well. Marriage is built on those who stay. “We all could have left a thousand times because we’ve all let each other down. Because we’re all imperfect beings and that’s the beauty of” relationship.
At the wedding of some friends almost thirty years ago, I recall the pastor discussing how in marriage, the bride and groom would be imperfect lovers. Aside from the fun we had ribbing the groom about being an imperfect lover, the point is a valid one. We all fall short in the area of being consistently loving. Human beings are a broken lot. This does not negate that we are valuable and worthy of love just as we are.
Where marriage works well is in loving someone in their brokenness and allowing ourselves to be loved in ours. It is trying to not wound our partner while healing from the wounds that will inevitably come from two imperfect lovers trying to love each other. It is allowing ourselves to be truly known since being known and loved is much more powerful, comforting, and reassuring than being loved, but not really known. It is the risk of true vulnerability that leads to true intimacy.
Marriage is built by those who stay and keep working at it together.
[1] If you are interested in the sermon, you can find it here: http://rbcpc.org/sermons/ Look under 02/19/17.
scottwoodtherapy 
Posted on February 22, 2017
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