College of Marriage

Posted on July 30, 2019


One of the things I always tell clients in our first session is that my view is that my job is to work my way out of a job with my clients.  When you can do for yourselves what I do for you in session, you don’t need me anymore, which is as it should be.  Now I am trying to work my way out of a job before couples ever walk in my door by helping couples to have the satisfying marriage that God intended.

One of the areas I serve in at my church is with the marriage enrichment team.  Last year, I facilitated the marriage retreat weekend.  This year we were talking about what classes we could offer that would be helpful.  Our church offers a “College of the Bible,” and I was struck with the idea of offering a “College of Marriage.”

We are presenting a total of 15 sessions designed to help couples become masters of marital arts.  We will look at both what the Bible has to say about marriage along with what the research says the masters of relationship do that make their relationships happy and fulfilling.

The College of Marriage is good for satisfied couples who want to enrich their marriage, couples who are having some struggles, and engaged couples who are preparing for marriage.  Whatever stage of life a couple is in, we have topics that will support their marriage.

The sessions will be offered at Rancho Bernardo Community Church on Sundays beginning on September 8 from 11:30 – 1.  Childcare will be available.  There is no cost, but you will want to sign up.  Here’s a link for registation:  You don’t have to be a member to attend.

You can pick and choose sessions, but we hope you will choose to complete the entire College of Marriage.  We will even give you diploma when you do.  Here’s a quick look at the session topics and dates.


College of Marriage Curriculum Plan, 2019-2020

Course are offered Sunday, 11:15am – 1:00pm

Module 1

9/8/19   Marriage 101, An Introduction – God’s design for humans, Us-ness.

9/15/19                How To Love – Agape.  Love languages.

9/22/19               Family of Origin – Boundaries – Leaving, Cleaving, and Weaving – Safe People


Module 2

9/29/19                Handling Conflict (Part 1 – Self-Regulation) – Pain cycle, Reclaiming Truth, Choosing Your Response

10/6/19                Handling Conflict (Part 2 – Co-Regulation) – Attachment, Asking for needs to be met

10/13/19              Handling Conflict (Part 3 – Skills) – Listening, Expressing Empathy, Compromise, Gridlocked Issues, Postmortem on the fight.


Module 3

10/20/19              Forgiveness – Healing Wounds

10/27/19              Sex – God’s intent; Real vs. Counterfeit; Intimacy; Attachment; Porn Trap; Sex and Aging

11/3/19                Affair-Proofing – Common lies of the enemy.  Pitfalls.  Internal monologue.


Module 4

11/10/19              Protecting Your Marriage from External Pressures – Work, Ministries, Extended Family.

11/17/19              Proactive Parenting – A conceptual overview of the job; training during non-conflict; family identity; moral and practical instruction; progressive transitioning from infancy to adulthood.

12/08/19              Support System – Safe People – Building a culture in your life that supports your marriage.


Module 5

01/12/20              Financial Management (Part 1 – The Early Years, Young Families)

01/19/20              Financial Management (Part 2 – Empty Nest, Looking Toward Retirement)

01/26/20              The Foretaste of Heaven – Knowing and Being Known; Fruits of the Spirit; Shared Joy & Meaning Meaning; Making Life Dreams Come True; The Road from Hard to Easy.  Graduation.