Life Changing Advice

Posted on February 23, 2020


“Years ago, my mother used to say to me — she’d say, ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be –‘ She always called me Elwood.  ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be oh, so smart or oh, so pleasant.’ Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. And you may quote me.”  Elwood P. Dowd (Harvey).

“My mama told me don’t lose you, cause the best luck I had was you.”  Michael Franti (Say Hey)

I have been badly neglecting my blog this year.  Apart from updates on my wife’s health following her heart attack, I have published nothing since December.  Most days I have great ideas for posts (they usually occur during or following a session), but they usually fall prey to wanting to veg at the end of my day.  I have consistently written a post for our anniversary.  Even for that, I am running late, but I will try to catch up a little here.

This past week, my wife and I celebrated 36 years of marriage.  I would point out that that is the product of two perfect squares, but most people wouldn’t get it and fewer still would find it an amusing observation, so let’s move on.

When my wife and I were dating, there was one occasion on which we got in an argument while driving up to visit my parents.  I have no idea what the argument was about, but I remember that I was right and she was wrong.  My mother did not want to know what the argument was about.  Her only position on the subject was, “Carol’s so sweet.  You be good to Carol.”

At the time, I was less than appreciative of this wisdom as I rather liked being right.  I could be a persuasive arguer and my case was never heard.  And whatever happened to blood being thicker than water?  In hindsight, this may have been the most life-changing thing anyone ever said to me.  “Carol’s so sweet.  You be good to Carol.”

It took some time to figure out entirely how to put that into practice.  Implementing that advice has been an ongoing effort.  Striving to treat my wife like the treasure she is has been perhaps the greatest key to having a happy life myself.

Being right is way over-rated.  Always treat your mate well.  Your marriage and your life will be better for it.