Browsing All Posts filed under »Childhood Trauma«

Forgiveness, The Best Boundary

June 24, 2019


You keep carrying that anger, it will eat you up inside.  Don Henley, The Heart of the Matter Over the last 20 years, the term, boundaries, has worked its way into the vernacular.  The credit is in no small part to Cloud and Townsend’s series of books. At the most basic level, the concept is […]

Eroticized Rage’s Greatest Hits

August 30, 2016


I was listening to American Top 40 a couple of weeks ago, and Ryan Seacrest was announcing that Elle King’s “Ex’s and Oh’s” had been in the top 40 for 55 weeks.  That’s over a year that the song has been a hit.  With the overwhelming success of the song, it seems there is a […]

A Therapist Looks at Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Part 2 – Finn

December 23, 2015


SPOILER ALERT.  As with my last post, I must forewarn you that I am going to give away some of the plot for the film.  If you haven’t seen it and don’t want to know, read no further. Let me offer some philosophical questions for consideration.  Is empathy something we learn or is it inherent […]


June 3, 2015


So your partner tries to control you, huh?  That seems a relatively common complaint.  I get it.  You’re an adult and you don’t want to feel like you are under someone’s thumb.  Since I hear this complaint more often from men than from women, for the sake of convenience, let me use gender specific pronouns. […]

Contaminating The Fantasy (Part 3 – Someone Else’s Trauma)

May 10, 2015


To make my points in this post, I need to be rather explicit.  Let me begin with the warning that this has adult content.  My editor (aka my wife) thought it was too explicit so I toned it down.  I thought it was made the point more forcefully as I had originally written it, but […]

What’s Your Epitaph?

February 6, 2014


“The most important thing a father can do for his children is love their mother.”  Theodore Hesburgh “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”  Winston Churchill “It’s only the giving that makes you what you are.”  Ian Anderson “What do you want on your tombstone?” Tombstone […]

Gorillas? Really?

January 9, 2014


Some say that no one writes tender romantic love songs anymore.  I have to disagree.  As a case in point take the poignant lyric to Bruno Mars’ recent hit “Gorilla.”  What could be more romantic than the promise of “you and me, baby, making love[1] like gorillas” coming from a man with “a body full […]

Ending the Legacy (Part 2)

October 19, 2013


The only statistics I could find that might give a view to the percentage of the adult population that has experienced childhood sexual abuse indicated that “one in three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18” (Voicing Abuse Project, 2013).  I am confident that these numbers are grossly […]

Ending the Legacy (Part 1)

October 12, 2013


One of the things I appreciate about many of my clients is their commitment to ensure that their children have it better than they did.  In this context, we are not talking about material wealth, but physical and emotional safety.  Couples coping with marital distress may have come from healthy families.  The negative cycle is […]

Another Big Bang Theory

September 26, 2013


Throughout my life I have adhered to a strict policy of only eating Mexican food on a day that ends in “y.”  I worked at Taco Bell through high school and college so I have eaten my share of tacos.  We have a little restaurant in the shopping center near my house that for years […]