Browsing All Posts filed under »Forgiveness«

Axes & Exes

March 4, 2020


“You keep carrying that anger, it will eat you up inside.” Don Henley “Resentment is like drinking rat poison yourself and waiting for the rat to die.”  John Ortberg “This one’s for the girls who think I’ve done wrong, could you really hold a grudge that long?”  Todd Rundgren A local radio station was having […]

Forgiveness, The Best Boundary

June 24, 2019


You keep carrying that anger, it will eat you up inside.  Don Henley, The Heart of the Matter Over the last 20 years, the term, boundaries, has worked its way into the vernacular.  The credit is in no small part to Cloud and Townsend’s series of books. At the most basic level, the concept is […]


June 15, 2017


In a 1970 Monty Python sketch, a book publisher has published a Hungarian-English phrase book for Hungarian tourists visiting Britain.  The publisher has intentionally mistranslated the phrases to wreak havoc.  By way of example, the Hungarian phrase for “Can you direct me to the railway station?” was translated as “Please fondle my buttocks.”  After the […]

Doing Their Best

November 3, 2016


At our church, we are in the process of looking for a new senior pastor.  Actually, we have been in the process for a year since our last pastor retired and moved closer to his children and grandchildren.  Fortunately, we still have a strong group of pastors and a world renown consultant as a transition […]

I’m Still Here

July 17, 2016


Often in therapy, one partner will question whether the other still loves him or her.  The frequent response is, “You should know that I still love you because I’m still here.” As a therapist, I read a lot into the fact that you are both sitting here.  Charming as I am, I assume that most […]

Unfinished Business

May 17, 2016


I grew up watching The Twilight Zone.  Though most of the five seasons of the show were made during my lifetime, I mostly caught it in syndication.  In as much as the local independent stations aired multiple episodes daily, I probably managed to see them all multiple times. The second episode ever aired was titled […]

Healer, Not Whipping Boy

July 3, 2014


If you have read much of my blog, you know that one of my areas of specialization is treating sexual addiction.  Whether addiction is involved or not, if there has been sexual infidelity or other betrayals of trust in the relationship, the partner is often traumatized.  As with other types of trauma, traumatic reaction to […]

Annoyance, Irritation, and Oblivion

May 16, 2014


Obliviousness, is that a word?  If not, I am claiming it.  Here’s my working definition: the state of being unaware of what is happening around one’s self or a lack of awareness of one’s impact on others.  We know what it looks like, right?  1) You are in the supermarket and someone has their cart […]

About You, Not About You

April 14, 2014


One of the difficulties partners often seemed to encounter in couple relationships is being able to differentiate what is about you from what is not about you.  This difficulty is further complicated by the fact that most people would not recognize that this is an issue.  Let me explain what I mean by this.  When […]

Into the New Year – Breaking Your Chains

January 4, 2013


I will not be shackled to what once was. Drew Davis The above quote is from a sermon I heard this past weekend.  The pastor’s point was that we all have past hurts in our lives, that we should not allow momentary hurts to become life hindering issues, and that these past hurts have no […]