Browsing All Posts filed under »Forgiveness«

Three Things (Part 1)

December 9, 2012


I previously served as a counselor at San Diego Hospice.  Working with people at the end of their lives and working with grieving partners and families has a way of putting life in perspective.  I found a few consistent themes that came up and I came up with three ideas that can be difficult to […]

The Light and Dark Sides of the Force

November 10, 2012


Guilt is a very powerful force.  I don’t recommend utilizing it (with the possible exception being if your adult daughter starts eating the guacamole you just made yourself for lunch, hypothetically speaking), but I acknowledge its power.  When my daughters were growing up if the subject of someone making someone else feel guilty came up, […]

Shame and Repentance

August 31, 2012


Couples often seek therapy after there has been a betrayal in the relationship.  This often takes the form of sexual acting out by one of the partners through affairs or pornography.  The partner who acted out sexually nearly always expresses remorse about the betrayal.  Remorse (being sorry), by itself, is generally insufficient to bring about […]

The Prince and the Dragon

August 1, 2012


This post and a few to follow are going to speak to the issue of addiction.  For the clients that I work with in my practice, much more common than alcohol or drug addiction is sexual addiction in various forms.  An important part of the road to healing is working through the denial and shame. […]

Revisiting a Rocky Moment

April 30, 2012


One of the tricky points in de-escalating the negative cycles that take over a marriage relationship and cause disconnection is learning how to change the dance.  In “Recognizing the Demon Dialogues” (Johnson, 2008), we looked at the most common negative patterns that cause distress and disconnection in marriage.  Distressed couples are stuck; beset by negative […]

Finding the Raw Spots

April 20, 2012


“Vulnerability comes with love.  Choice is in how to deal with this.” Dr. Susan Johnson When I was a child, I had as a pet an extraordinarily friendly and sociable cat.  One day when I was petting the cat, I noticed something deep in her fur.  Thinking it was a burr or something of the […]