Browsing All Posts filed under »Marriage«

Any Conversation Can Be Had Constructively

June 1, 2020


Do you have some hot button topics that are sure to result in a fight?  How about some things that really bother you but you don’t want to say anything because you fear it will just blow up?  You find yourself sucking it up because you don’t like confrontation? I don’t like conflict or confrontation […]

Delighted In

May 25, 2020


“He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zeph. 3:17 The majority of my clients are fellow Christians who sought out a Christian therapist because their faith is an important part of their lives.  Between my role as a therapist […]

Really, What is it About That?

May 19, 2020


Your mate does some things that really bug you, huh?  When (s)he does that thing they do, it really makes you mad.  Can I invite you to reflect on what it is about that thing that upsets you so much?  If you answered, “It’s just rude?,”  let’s try to dig a little deeper.  The question […]

Attachment Injuries Revisited

May 11, 2020


My wife and I were recently listening to an audiobook that was a biography of Paul Simon.  Since I can’t help but see relationships from a therapist’s viewpoint, I couldn’t help but reflect on the ongoing rift in the relationship between Paul and Art Garfunkel.  Before I go down that path, let me define my […]

Spike in Divorce or Baby Boom

May 4, 2020


What will be the relationship impact of us all sheltering at home?  I read an article[1] that reported a spike in divorce filings in China that was attributed to couples spending too much time at home together due to COVID.  On a separate note, my wife had speculated a baby boom[2] this winter resulting from […]


April 20, 2020


I know, you’re thinking Old McDonald.  I wanted to talk about Introverts (I) and Extroverts (E) particularly as it applies to our current sheltering at home situation. All of us are somewhere on a continuum between always choosing to be with people or always choosing to be alone.  This is mostly about where you get […]

Danger and Opportunity

April 13, 2020


Twenty four years ago, I did a brief stint working for a bank[1] in Northern California.  It was the only time I have ever lived outside of Southern California.  It was also the most oppressive corporate culture I have ever experienced.  I reported directly to the president of the bank who would tell you himself […]

Team Smith, Jones, etc.

April 6, 2020


We are all coping with added stressors during this time of sheltering at home.  Most of those who are still working are doing so from home.  If you have school-aged children, you are having to do so while one or both parents is having to actively engage in parenting/educating. I have oft hypothesized that in […]

It Loses Something

March 30, 2020


Since we are all “sheltering in place,” I am only taking counseling appointments by phone or Skype at present.  Historically for me, such appointments have been the rare exception so this is new territory.  Thus far, my experience is that the Skype sessions are not substantially different from office sessions (as long as clients can […]

The Case for Irrelevancy and the Existential Crisis

March 10, 2020


“No, I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be.” T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock “A man needs a home and a child and a wife to always be there, always.”  Don Henley, Oh Lilah “In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home.  With a couple […]