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Translation

June 15, 2017

In a 1970 Monty Python sketch, a book publisher has published a Hungarian-English phrase book for Hungarian tourists visiting Britain. The publisher has intentionally mistranslated the phrases to wreak havoc. By way of example, the Hungarian phrase for “Can you direct me to the railway station?” was translated as “Please fondle my buttocks.” After the […]

The Mainstream Figures Out That Porn is Bad for You

March 22, 2016

It is encouraging that noting the dangers and the addictive nature of porn use has become increasingly mainstream. GQ magazine published an article on “10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn.” http://www.gq.com/story/10-reasons-why-you-should-quit-watching-porn They aren’t the same top 10 reasons I would give you, but, hey, these are still good reasons. In short, porn greatly […]

A Therapist Looks at Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Part 3 – Rey & Finn

December 29, 2015

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen the film and don’t want to have information before you do, you might want to skip this one. One would hope that a certain amount of wisdom comes with age. Han Solo was never much of a sage, but he has picked up a little wisdom to impart. When […]

Impact of Pornography on the Brain

November 1, 2015

This video report on the impact of porn use is about 23 minutes long, so it will take more time than reading a typical blog post. It doesn’t require much further comment from me but to say that it is good information. No moralizing[1], just science. Porn use is really damaging. http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/3d/is-free-pornography-destroying-our-brains-2015100515#axzz3niPOtlkX [1] Though […]

Expanding Your Thinking About Boundaries

September 30, 2015

A large part of my practice is treating sexual addiction. No matter what the addiction, an important part of recovery is learning to live with and embrace boundaries. When active in their addiction, addicts hate boundaries. Boundaries are your jailer. They keep you from doing what you most want to do. A significant milestone in […]

Ashley Madison Take 2

August 29, 2015

The purchase of the island of Manhattan. The commonly understood history is that in 1626 Dutch colonists purchased the island of Manhattan from the Native Americans for trade goods valued at about 60 Dutch guilders.[1] That amount would have purchased about 1 ½ pounds of silver at the time. Though the natives’ understanding of the […]

Ashley Madison Hack Help (Take 1)

August 25, 2015

So your information got hacked from your Ashley Madison account, huh? And now your life is in crisis. My grad school advisor’s native language was Chinese. He shared with me that the Chinese character for crisis contains the characters for danger and opportunity. The danger seems obvious, so let’s see where there might be some […]

Ripple Effect

August 4, 2015

Let’s see if we can create an existential crisis and solve it in less than 1000 words. There are about 7 billion people living on this planet at present. The vast majority of us are not known at all beyond the few hundred lives with whom we have contact. Even within that circle of influence, […]

Contaminating The Fantasy (Part 3 – Someone Else’s Trauma)

May 10, 2015

To make my points in this post, I need to be rather explicit. Let me begin with the warning that this has adult content. My editor (aka my wife) thought it was too explicit so I toned it down. I thought it was made the point more forcefully as I had originally written it, but […]

Contaminating the Fantasy (Part 1 – Out and About)

April 16, 2015

The wife of a pastor friend of mine once remarked that if God had not cranked up the sex drive on men that they would have been completely undomesticatable (if that is a word). It is certainly true that our gender is very visually stimulated. Jesus warned against even looking at a woman with lust […]