Browsing All Posts filed under »Sexual Addiction«

Supernormal Stimuli

April 2, 2015

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“Ain’t nothing like the real thing” Ashford and Simpson, 1968 “Even better than the real thing” U2, 1991 When I was in undergrad[1], one of my psychology textbooks had a picture of a small bird trying to sit on a very large egg.  The photo related to the work of the late Niko Tinbergen and […]

The Grammys

March 5, 2015

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Okay.  I am a few weeks late in putting this one out.  If you read my last post, you know that I was away on an anniversary trip with my wife.  I was a complete slacker on that trip (it was wonderful), and then paid for it the next week by playing catch-up[1]. So let’s […]

Dehumanizing

December 18, 2014

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If you have read much of my writing or read my bio, you know that I am a certified sexual addiction therapist and a large portion of my practice involves treating sexual addiction. Many of my clients are men who have been stuck in compulsively viewing of pornography and masturbation.  Usually some resultant crisis in […]

You need to care deeply about what is happening for her and not so much about what she thinks of you.

November 13, 2014

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Answer: Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except For Me and My Monkey Question: What is the longest Beatles song title? If you’re ever on Jeopardy and that comes up, now you know.  This is my longest blog post title. If you have been reading my blog or my bio, you may already know that a […]

Life on Life’s Terms

September 27, 2014

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The world don’t owe me no living.  Dewey Bunnell A man said to the universe: “Sir, I exist!”  “However,” replied the universe, “The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation.”  Stephen Crane God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which […]

Dorm Rules, Coming Clean

September 12, 2014

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Sometime between the invention of the lightbulb and the cellular phone (after cassette and before CD), I went to college.  I lived three years on the sixth floor of Argo Hall on UCSD.  Back in those days, Argo was affectionately referred to as “The Zoo.”  It was considered a risky and perhaps foolish move to […]

Licensed at Last

August 14, 2014

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Lately it occurs to me what a long strange tip it’s been.  Grateful Dead Life is for the learning.  Joni Mitchell Well, the State of California has now seen fit to license me as a marriage and family therapist.  In honor of the milestone, my supervisor provided me with a magic wand signifying, that as […]

Sexual Addiction: Intimacy Disorder

July 22, 2014

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Behavior Disorder Brain Disorder Sexual addiction is a(n) Intimacy Disorder Profound Boundary Failure A Family of Origin Disorder Relationship Disorder Courtship Disorder Trauma Response Way of Managing Shame Dysfunctional Emotional Regulation Strategy In male culture, a common fixture is the put-down. This can be used as a show of camaraderie, can indicate acceptance into a […]

Healer, Not Whipping Boy

July 3, 2014

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If you have read much of my blog, you know that one of my areas of specialization is treating sexual addiction.  Whether addiction is involved or not, if there has been sexual infidelity or other betrayals of trust in the relationship, the partner is often traumatized.  As with other types of trauma, traumatic reaction to […]

Sexual Addiction: Brain Disorder

June 27, 2014

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Behavior Disorder Sexual addiction is a(n)  Brain Disorder Intimacy Disorder Profound Boundary Failure A Family of Origin Disorder Relationship Disorder Courtship Disorder Trauma Response Way of Managing Shame Dysfunctional Emotional Regulation Strategy I know, if we say that sexual addiction is a brain disorder, it sounds like we are giving the addict a pass for […]