Browsing All Posts filed under »Shame«


June 15, 2017


In a 1970 Monty Python sketch, a book publisher has published a Hungarian-English phrase book for Hungarian tourists visiting Britain.  The publisher has intentionally mistranslated the phrases to wreak havoc.  By way of example, the Hungarian phrase for “Can you direct me to the railway station?” was translated as “Please fondle my buttocks.”  After the […]


December 18, 2014


If you have read much of my writing or read my bio, you know that I am a certified sexual addiction therapist and a large portion of my practice involves treating sexual addiction. Many of my clients are men who have been stuck in compulsively viewing of pornography and masturbation.  Usually some resultant crisis in […]

Infidelity Redefined

January 24, 2014


This week I am in Washington for the final training module for CSAT (certified sexual addiction therapist) certification.  On the first day of this module, Rob Weiss presented on sexual addiction and technology, and how assessment and treatment is impacted by evolving technology and media.  This post is not about that, but about a comment […]

Overcoming Shame

May 10, 2013


This post is based upon a talk I am presenting this weekend to a group of leaders of Christian sexual addiction recovery support groups.  As such, my Christian view is particularly on display in this one.  My hope is that my readers who are of other faiths or no faith will still be able to […]

Men and Emotions (Part 2)

April 25, 2013


I labeled the last post “Part 1” as I had more to offer on the subject but not the time to complete everything I wanted to say on the topic.[1]  It is interesting to me which posts draw the most comments and likes and from whom the comments originate.  The last post was intended to […]

The Light and Dark Sides of the Force

November 10, 2012


Guilt is a very powerful force.  I don’t recommend utilizing it (with the possible exception being if your adult daughter starts eating the guacamole you just made yourself for lunch, hypothetically speaking), but I acknowledge its power.  When my daughters were growing up if the subject of someone making someone else feel guilty came up, […]

Shame and Repentance

August 31, 2012


Couples often seek therapy after there has been a betrayal in the relationship.  This often takes the form of sexual acting out by one of the partners through affairs or pornography.  The partner who acted out sexually nearly always expresses remorse about the betrayal.  Remorse (being sorry), by itself, is generally insufficient to bring about […]