Browsing All Posts filed under »Trauma«

Forgiveness, The Best Boundary

June 24, 2019


You keep carrying that anger, it will eat you up inside.  Don Henley, The Heart of the Matter Over the last 20 years, the term, boundaries, has worked its way into the vernacular.  The credit is in no small part to Cloud and Townsend’s series of books. At the most basic level, the concept is […]

A Therapist Looks at Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Part 3 – Rey & Finn

December 29, 2015


SPOILER ALERT!  If you haven’t seen the film and don’t want to have information before you do, you might want to skip this one. One would hope that a certain amount of wisdom comes with age.  Han Solo was never much of a sage, but he has picked up a little wisdom to impart.  When […]

Contaminating The Fantasy (Part 3 – Someone Else’s Trauma)

May 10, 2015


To make my points in this post, I need to be rather explicit.  Let me begin with the warning that this has adult content.  My editor (aka my wife) thought it was too explicit so I toned it down.  I thought it was made the point more forcefully as I had originally written it, but […]

Trauma Repetition

April 9, 2015


“So many times I thought I’d found someone only to be surprised at this person that they really were.  And the person that I am has always kept things on the run, but I swear I’ll change my ways, and now I’m just sitting in the sun.  I’m sitting in the sun, waiting for my […]

You need to care deeply about what is happening for her and not so much about what she thinks of you.

November 13, 2014


Answer: Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except For Me and My Monkey Question: What is the longest Beatles song title? If you’re ever on Jeopardy and that comes up, now you know.  This is my longest blog post title. If you have been reading my blog or my bio, you may already know that a […]

Ending the Legacy (Part 2)

October 19, 2013


The only statistics I could find that might give a view to the percentage of the adult population that has experienced childhood sexual abuse indicated that “one in three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18” (Voicing Abuse Project, 2013).  I am confident that these numbers are grossly […]

Another Big Bang Theory

September 26, 2013


Throughout my life I have adhered to a strict policy of only eating Mexican food on a day that ends in “y.”  I worked at Taco Bell through high school and college so I have eaten my share of tacos.  We have a little restaurant in the shopping center near my house that for years […]

Getting Over It

September 19, 2013


On Labor Day, I suffered a great personal tragedy.[1]  We had some friends over for a barbecue.  My ipod and docking speakers were sitting on a small resin table outside providing us with music.  The back door was left open.  The wind blew the back door which knocked over the table which caused my ipod […]

Stop It

May 16, 2013


In a sketch from Mad TV, Bob Newhart plays a therapist that has a rather unique approach to brief therapy.  His solution to every problem presented is to yell, “Stop it” at the client.  Go watch the video, then come back and we can talk. For the record I am not endorsing Bob’s approach […]

Overcoming Shame

May 10, 2013


This post is based upon a talk I am presenting this weekend to a group of leaders of Christian sexual addiction recovery support groups.  As such, my Christian view is particularly on display in this one.  My hope is that my readers who are of other faiths or no faith will still be able to […]