Browsing All Posts filed under »Uncategorized«

At Our Least Lovely

October 19, 2020

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“I’m not easy to live with, I know that it’s true.  You’re no picnic either, babe, that’s one of the things I loved about you.”  Don Henley (Not Enough Love in the World) “When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care, when I’m throwing punches in the air, when I’m broken down and I […]

The Biggest Risk is the One That Someone Else is Taking

October 14, 2020

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There is an old joke in Christian circles which went something to the effect of, “What’s the worst sin?”  The answer is, “The one that someone else is doing?” As a former banker, I often think about things in terms of risk management.  You can’t run a bank and not take risk.  The point is […]

Marriage Enrichment Opportunities

October 9, 2020

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One of the ministries I participate in with my church is the Marriage Enrichment Team.  2020 has presented unique challenges to that ministry as we have had to curtail any in-person events.  Like everyone else, we have had to figure out how to function in a virtual environment.  This month, we have two online events […]

Fix You

October 2, 2020

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An individual client was telling me about a failed attempt to connect with his wife when she was in distress.  He asked her what she needed from him when she was upset and she told him, “You can’t fix me.”  I thought it was an interesting comment and it gave me pause. Often couples come […]

Agape Love

August 15, 2020

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“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.”  G. K. Chesterton   I remember when “Can’t Buy Me Love” by the Beatles was a hit.  I was just a kid at the time.  Though I liked the song, I didn’t know what a “cambami love” […]

Critical Mass

August 6, 2020

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One of the tricky points of conflict to handle is when one partner is distressed about the other’s weight (that is, when one is critical of the other’s mass).  It is even a thorny issue to write about.  I will try to do it justice in 1000 words or less. First, you can’t control your […]

Should Christians Go To Therapy?

July 24, 2020

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Pastor Bryan Stamper offered this short video addressing the question of whether Christians should go to therapy.  I thought it was worth sharing (and didn’t require additional comment from me) so here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUyfl0eO3JQ&feature=youtu.be Blessings.

A Mission of Discovery

June 29, 2020

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This post came from working with some couples who are recovering from some significant violations in the relationship.  There are occasionally couples who are able to get to a place of forgiveness and functionality, but don’t have the same romantic feelings for their partner that they did before.  This can also happen even if there […]

Any Conversation Can Be Had Constructively

June 1, 2020

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Do you have some hot button topics that are sure to result in a fight?  How about some things that really bother you but you don’t want to say anything because you fear it will just blow up?  You find yourself sucking it up because you don’t like confrontation? I don’t like conflict or confrontation […]

Spike in Divorce or Baby Boom

May 4, 2020

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What will be the relationship impact of us all sheltering at home?  I read an article[1] that reported a spike in divorce filings in China that was attributed to couples spending too much time at home together due to COVID.  On a separate note, my wife had speculated a baby boom[2] this winter resulting from […]