Betrayals of trust and attachment injuries[1] in relationships come in many shapes and sizes. Affairs are a common example of both, but there can be many other ways in which one partner feels that the trust has been breeched or that you were not there for me when I needed you. Often when couples come […]
November 10, 2020
I know. You both have done some things in this relationship to hurt each other. But really, your partner has been the major culprit. I get that. I do. Largely because that’s how you both tell it. You are both in a lot of distress. “Look how much bigger my pain is than yours; look […]
November 2, 2020
“You can walk in darkness if you know it leads to light.” Bryan Stamper, Jr. This has little to do with the fact that tomorrow is election day. It is more about resilience in general. The quote came from a sermon my pastor gave yesterday. The line stuck with me. In every life, there are […]
October 19, 2020
“I’m not easy to live with, I know that it’s true. You’re no picnic either, babe, that’s one of the things I loved about you.” Don Henley (Not Enough Love in the World) “When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care, when I’m throwing punches in the air, when I’m broken down and I […]
October 14, 2020
There is an old joke in Christian circles which went something to the effect of, “What’s the worst sin?” The answer is, “The one that someone else is doing?” As a former banker, I often think about things in terms of risk management. You can’t run a bank and not take risk. The point is […]
October 9, 2020
One of the ministries I participate in with my church is the Marriage Enrichment Team. 2020 has presented unique challenges to that ministry as we have had to curtail any in-person events. Like everyone else, we have had to figure out how to function in a virtual environment. This month, we have two online events […]
September 21, 2020
One of the things that often brings couples into therapy is the discover/disclosure of an affair by one of the partners. There are many ways we can examine the impact of affairs. I had considered alternate titles to this blog such as “Advantage: AP” (noting that the affair partner always has the advantage over your […]
August 15, 2020
“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.” G. K. Chesterton I remember when “Can’t Buy Me Love” by the Beatles was a hit. I was just a kid at the time. Though I liked the song, I didn’t know what a “cambami love” […]
November 16, 2020
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