Hope

November 2, 2020

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“You can walk in darkness if you know it leads to light.”  Bryan Stamper, Jr. This has little to do with the fact that tomorrow is election day.  It is more about resilience in general.  The quote came from a sermon my pastor gave yesterday.  The line stuck with me.  In every life, there are […]

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Place of God

October 26, 2020

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Throughout salvation history, God’s people have been warned against the dangers of idolatry.  One way we could define this term is to say that idolatry is putting something that isn’t God in the place that only God should occupy.  In more modern times, Christians are sometimes warned to beware of putting your spouse or children […]

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At Our Least Lovely

October 19, 2020

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“I’m not easy to live with, I know that it’s true.  You’re no picnic either, babe, that’s one of the things I loved about you.”  Don Henley (Not Enough Love in the World) “When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care, when I’m throwing punches in the air, when I’m broken down and I […]

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The Biggest Risk is the One That Someone Else is Taking

October 14, 2020

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There is an old joke in Christian circles which went something to the effect of, “What’s the worst sin?”  The answer is, “The one that someone else is doing?” As a former banker, I often think about things in terms of risk management.  You can’t run a bank and not take risk.  The point is […]

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Marriage Enrichment Opportunities

October 9, 2020

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One of the ministries I participate in with my church is the Marriage Enrichment Team.  2020 has presented unique challenges to that ministry as we have had to curtail any in-person events.  Like everyone else, we have had to figure out how to function in a virtual environment.  This month, we have two online events […]

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Fix You

October 2, 2020

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An individual client was telling me about a failed attempt to connect with his wife when she was in distress.  He asked her what she needed from him when she was upset and she told him, “You can’t fix me.”  I thought it was an interesting comment and it gave me pause. Often couples come […]

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The View From the Wasteland

September 21, 2020

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One of the things that often brings couples into therapy is the discover/disclosure of an affair by one of the partners.  There are many ways we can examine the impact of affairs.  I had considered alternate titles to this blog such as “Advantage: AP” (noting that the affair partner always has the advantage over your […]

Agape Love

August 15, 2020

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“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.”  G. K. Chesterton   I remember when “Can’t Buy Me Love” by the Beatles was a hit.  I was just a kid at the time.  Though I liked the song, I didn’t know what a “cambami love” […]

Critical Mass

August 6, 2020

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One of the tricky points of conflict to handle is when one partner is distressed about the other’s weight (that is, when one is critical of the other’s mass).  It is even a thorny issue to write about.  I will try to do it justice in 1000 words or less. First, you can’t control your […]

Is He/She Worth It?

July 27, 2020

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Way back in 1983, Billy Joel released an album titled “An Innocent Man.”  The title track was a ballad in which the singer is committing to being a safe and healing person for a woman who has been badly wounded from past relationships.  Essentially, he recognizes that how she guards herself in the relationship is […]