Browsing All posts tagged under »intimacy«

Really, What is it About That?

May 19, 2020

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Your mate does some things that really bug you, huh?  When (s)he does that thing they do, it really makes you mad.  Can I invite you to reflect on what it is about that thing that upsets you so much?  If you answered, “It’s just rude?,”  let’s try to dig a little deeper.  The question […]

Spike in Divorce or Baby Boom

May 4, 2020

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What will be the relationship impact of us all sheltering at home?  I read an article[1] that reported a spike in divorce filings in China that was attributed to couples spending too much time at home together due to COVID.  On a separate note, my wife had speculated a baby boom[2] this winter resulting from […]

EURSR (The Essence of Empathy and Intimacy)

April 13, 2018

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Many of my colleagues are good at coming up with clever acronyms (that spell out words) to help clients remember key coping strategies.  I might have to really think about it if I want to figure out how to make this spell something. This one is Engage, Understand, Reflect, Share, Repeat.  It involves both the […]

Imperfect Lovers

February 22, 2017

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“The church is not built on the people that come and go. It’s built on the people who stay.  And we all know the secret: We all could have left a thousand times because we’ve all let each other down.  Because we’re all imperfect beings and that’s the beauty of community.”   Erwin McManus This past […]

A Tale of Two Marketing Strategies

January 11, 2017

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Since DVR’s came into common usage, I rarely see commercials anymore.  If I do, it is either 1) in the gym (no audio), 2) during a football game (sadly watching the Chargers fall apart), or 3) the first commercial in the break is interesting enough to grab my attention before I can get to the […]

Love: How Are You Doing With That?

November 24, 2016

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On Sunday, we had a guest preacher at our church.  She is not only a pastor, but also a clinical psychologist and a seminary professor.  The sermon, titled “The Lord Has Done Great Things” was an encouraging message about how in our sorrows and losses are the seeds of future joy.  The scriptural basis was […]

Don’t Freak Out / Don’t Take it Personally

June 4, 2016

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This post is a marital public service announcement of the sort you don’t see very often.  To make my point, I need to be comparatively explicit.  Consider this a warning of a PG-13 rating. In my practice, I frequently see middle aged couples who have encountered difficulties with their sex life.  Often this takes the […]

Ashley Madison Take 2

August 29, 2015

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The purchase of the island of Manhattan.  The commonly understood history is that in 1626 Dutch colonists purchased the island of Manhattan from the Native Americans for trade goods valued at about 60 Dutch guilders.[1]  That amount would have purchased about 1 ½ pounds of silver at the time.  Though the natives’ understanding of the […]

Don’t Take It Personally

February 12, 2015

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Q: What is the most powerful (significant, important) sex organ? A: The brain “It’s not you; it’s me.”  Classic cliché break-up line As I observed in a previous post, Cialis does make beautiful commercials.  This is particularly so if you see them without the audio as I typically do when in the gym.  Middle aged […]

Dehumanizing

December 18, 2014

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If you have read much of my writing or read my bio, you know that I am a certified sexual addiction therapist and a large portion of my practice involves treating sexual addiction. Many of my clients are men who have been stuck in compulsively viewing of pornography and masturbation.  Usually some resultant crisis in […]