Browsing All posts tagged under »Marriage«

Dance Practice

December 7, 2020


Last week I attended a Zoom meeting for a friend’s ministry.  For an icebreaker, my friend asked us what was one good thing that happened for us as a result of the pandemic.  This was not intended to minimize the impact of the pandemic, but to notice where we still experience blessings in our lives […]

Mellowing With Age

November 30, 2020


I have noticed that the older I get, the less there is to get mad about.  I’m not talking about the state of the country or the world, but the state of my relationships.  Things that might have gotten me bent out of shape 20, 30, or 40 years ago just don’t do it anymore.  […]

Decision Making Revisited

November 23, 2020


Of course, you don’t agree on everything.  If you did, one of you would be largely unnecessary.  The old cliché that two heads are better than one is certainly true.  At the same time, it is also an irritant.  The research has found (and I am not making it up), that 69% of the things […]

Emotional Restitution

November 16, 2020


Betrayals of trust and attachment injuries[1] in relationships come in many shapes and sizes.  Affairs are a common example of both, but there can be many other ways in which one partner feels that the trust has been breeched or that you were not there for me when I needed you.  Often when couples come […]

Someone’s Got to be the Healer

November 10, 2020


I know.  You both have done some things in this relationship to hurt each other.  But really, your partner has been the major culprit.  I get that.  I do.  Largely because that’s how you both tell it.  You are both in a lot of distress.  “Look how much bigger my pain is than yours; look […]

Place of God

October 26, 2020


Throughout salvation history, God’s people have been warned against the dangers of idolatry.  One way we could define this term is to say that idolatry is putting something that isn’t God in the place that only God should occupy.  In more modern times, Christians are sometimes warned to beware of putting your spouse or children […]

At Our Least Lovely

October 19, 2020


“I’m not easy to live with, I know that it’s true.  You’re no picnic either, babe, that’s one of the things I loved about you.”  Don Henley (Not Enough Love in the World) “When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care, when I’m throwing punches in the air, when I’m broken down and I […]

The Biggest Risk is the One That Someone Else is Taking

October 14, 2020


There is an old joke in Christian circles which went something to the effect of, “What’s the worst sin?”  The answer is, “The one that someone else is doing?” As a former banker, I often think about things in terms of risk management.  You can’t run a bank and not take risk.  The point is […]

Marriage Enrichment Opportunities

October 9, 2020


One of the ministries I participate in with my church is the Marriage Enrichment Team.  2020 has presented unique challenges to that ministry as we have had to curtail any in-person events.  Like everyone else, we have had to figure out how to function in a virtual environment.  This month, we have two online events […]

Fix You

October 2, 2020


An individual client was telling me about a failed attempt to connect with his wife when she was in distress.  He asked her what she needed from him when she was upset and she told him, “You can’t fix me.”  I thought it was an interesting comment and it gave me pause. Often couples come […]