Browsing All posts tagged under »relationship healing«

Emotional Restitution

November 16, 2020


Betrayals of trust and attachment injuries[1] in relationships come in many shapes and sizes.  Affairs are a common example of both, but there can be many other ways in which one partner feels that the trust has been breeched or that you were not there for me when I needed you.  Often when couples come […]

Attachment Injuries Revisited

May 11, 2020


My wife and I were recently listening to an audiobook that was a biography of Paul Simon.  Since I can’t help but see relationships from a therapist’s viewpoint, I couldn’t help but reflect on the ongoing rift in the relationship between Paul and Art Garfunkel.  Before I go down that path, let me define my […]

Whose Relationship Violations are Worse?

July 17, 2019


How do you rate the following violations of love and trust in a relationship?  Number the following from 1-12 with 1 being the most egregious betrayal. ____  One night of sex with a stranger. ____  An emotional affair with a coworker. ____  A secret bank account. ____  Not showing up when your partner has a […]

Bet’cha Say That

March 6, 2019


There is an old cliché response to a man’s pick-up line or attempt at flattery.  It is “I bet you say that to all the girls.” I was recently working with a couple and after assessing the problem asserted that “You can fix this.  I don’t know if you will, but you can.”  It created […]

Healer, Not Whipping Boy

July 3, 2014


If you have read much of my blog, you know that one of my areas of specialization is treating sexual addiction.  Whether addiction is involved or not, if there has been sexual infidelity or other betrayals of trust in the relationship, the partner is often traumatized.  As with other types of trauma, traumatic reaction to […]

Understanding Beats an Apology

September 12, 2013


When you play poker, it is important to know which hand is higher.  If bridge or pinochle is your game, you need to know what suit is trump.  In my last post, I discussed the difference between an apology and an explanation.  My assertion was that those two things were mutually exclusive and that it […]